Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mr. Lucky's Out of Town: Item 5 for the Log (Day 2)

UPDATE FROM DAY 1: Dogs' new passage to China plugged with three bricks, but I'm still leery. Backyard suspiciously spongy under my feet. Because the leaky faucet is on the exterior wall of the master bedroom, I have an irrational fear of waking up and getting out of bed only to plop my bare feet into a soaked carpet (I'm still scarred for life from last year's Great Flood. Sometimes I wake up at night and think I hear water running. Have yet to wake up screaming, though.) "3CH Logic" still glowing illogically on stereo receiver.

Today's addition to the Log:

5. The computer printer doesn't work. And I need to print out a 100k word manuscript by the end of next week. When Mr. Lucky called this evening to make sure I wasn't entertaining any Chippendales in his absence, I told him about the problem. (With the printer, not with the Chippendales' failure to show.)

"Oh yeah, it was giving me problems too, the other day," he said. "I couldn't get it to work with my new laptop." (Which he took with him.) "Did you turn on the main computer? You have to have it on to make it work with your laptop."

"Of course it's on!" I exclaimed. "Except for the desktop screen. And that's another thing. I can't get that to work, either."

"That's because it's unplugged," he said in his best everyone-knows-that voice. "The on-off button stopped working, so I always have to unplug it when turning off the main computer."

NOW he tells me! I've been using my laptop exclusively for almost two years now, so I didn't know any of this.

"You may have to log on to the main computer to use the printer," he said.

Only I can't do that until tomorrow. Not with Baby Bear running amok throughout the house.

Then my husband told me he was in the midst of driving back to his hotel. I gave him holy you-know-what for talking to me on his cell phone while he's (a) driving a rental car (b) after dark (c) in a strange metropolis.

Later this same evening, I was watching Survivor: China. (I think Jeff Probst has the cutest dimples.) Jasper came up to me and started barking.

"What is your problem?" I asked him. "There are no old mills or abandoned wells nearby, so Baby Bear couldn't be trapped in one." (Though you never know with that kid; he can always find something.) Turned out Jasper needed "to go," so I let him out back and wondered what had become of his partner-in-crime.

I went into my son's room to find Baby Bear playing a video game, and Buddy chewing on a picture book. I yelled. Both dog and boy fled the room while I picked up the soggy scraps of the book. After throwing them in the trash, I realized the TV was off (a common trick of Bear's when no one is in the room), and I seemed to be the only one in the house.

Then I realized I'd left the sliding glass door unlocked after letting Jasper out. I dashed out into the dark backyard. I tell you, that -20 watt bulb next to the patio door couldn't light a beehive. The next door neighbors, on the other hand, have a floodlight on their patio that could guide ships from 300 miles away. Unfortunately, they never turn it on till we go to bed.

But sure enough, both dogs were out there, along with a certain boy who was in the far corner of the yard, rocking on the lawn swing in his underwear.

Thank God we have that fence. I somehow managed to herd everyone back inside, then collapsed on the sofa to finish watching Survivor.

All season I've been rooting for James, but tonight he was voted off. I wondered why everyone on the tribal council and jury were laughing as he walked out, and I think I got the answer when he made his farewell speech to the camera during the end credits.

He had not one but two "hidden" immunity idols in his possession, and didn't bother to play either of them! Reminds me of the time I was playing Monopoly and had two "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, but still paid the $50.00 to get out because I didn't want to waste my two freebies. How dumb is that, I ask you? No wonder I'd been rooting for him. He was a kindred spirit.

That said, don't I at least deserve a reward for tonight's challenge on Survivor: Chez Lingefelt?

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